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Hearing from God or Not?
Have you ever questioned, "Did I really hear from God or was it just something that I conjured up in my mind that sounded good at the time?" When I reflect on our five-month adventure in Mississippi, I can't help but think, "What was I thinking?" When my husband resigned as the youth pastor at our church, we thought it would be a great idea to take some time and go visit family and friends. Along our journey we decide to go back to our old stomping grounds in Columbus, MS, which is where we met and where I worked at a local television station as the morning news anchor.
When we went to the station to see a few old buddies of mine they said they were looking for a morning anchor again. I don't know why, but my ears perked up. Before I left, the station manager mentioned that if I was interested, there was an opening for me at the station. I hadn't really given much thought about going back into broadcasting, but maybe just the fact that they wanted me back, suddenly intrigued me.
All the way home from Mississippi to North Carolina, I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility; however,I told my husband it wouldn't work with the kids. I really wanted to stay home with our three children, since we still had one in diapers.
While still on our way home, the station manager called to talk with me more about doing the morning show again and told me I would be working with my old co-anchor whom I respected and admired. He said I could do the show and then run home at 7:00 to get the kids off to school. As far as my youngest, we would find someone in our church to keep him for several hours in the morning, and then I would be home.
Alan and I prayed about everything and felt that the Lord had opened up this opportunity. It all sounded great! So a week later, we packed up the kids and everything we would need and headed to Mississippi. Once we got there, we stayed with some good friends of ours. We got the kids enrolled in school, and then it was time for me to go back on air. Oh, my goodness, I had forgotten about that part.
However, with my doing a lot of praying, God helped me get back in the groove of being on air and helped me to lose those nervous jitters. It was nice to hear people say, "It's good to have you back, Amy. You're doing a great job!" I had forgotten what it was like to have people staring at me when I was at a restaurant or a clothing store. They were probably just trying to figure out how they knew me. I was thinking, "Do I have something on my face?" "Do I have a run in my pantyhose?"
In the midst of the spotlight, Alan and I were miserable. Weeks and months had gone by, and we were still staying with friends since our house in North Carolina had not sold. I hated saying goodbye to my 1 1/2 year-old son every morning, my husband still hadn't found a job, and getting up at 2:30 every morning meant I was exhausted all the time. I felt like I wasn't able to give my three children the quality time that I wanted to. When I had done this job seven years ago, I hadn't had kids. So, I could go home and sleep for two hours every day. That makes a big difference.
So many emotions were running through my mind: "Lord, what are we doing here? I thought you brought us here," or "We obviously didn't think this one out, Lord." I didn't know what to think; I was confused and a little stressed! Then in the midst of the storm, I felt a peace. I felt like the Lord said, "Just hold on. It's going to be all right." I'm going to bring you out of this."
I had only been working for the station for five months, so I didn't know if I was going to be able to get out of my contract; however, the Lord was working everything out for our good. My general manager was reluctant to accept my resignation at first and said he didn't want to lose me, but then he and my news director said they understood and wished me the best of luck. I know that it was God who sustained us during that time. When I look back at our adventure in Mississippi, it was extremely difficult trying to manage everything that we had, but in it all, the Lord was faithful and brought us through.
So did we hear from the Lord or not? Well I'm not sure if I will fully ever understand all the reasons for going back to Mississippi, but it did allow us to reconnect with some old friends, I got to anchor with my favorite co-anchor, and it gave me the confidence to believe in myself that I could still do the job if an opportunity presents itself for me down the road. For now, I'm thankful to be able to stay home with my 2 1/2 year-old and be able to help out at my two older children's school. My husband found a job in North Carolina and we were able to move back in our home that hadn't sold. Although it's difficult to understand all the turns life takes, we hold on the the following truth: Through it all, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
Copyright © 2008-2015 Amy Turner
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