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Biblical Principles For A Successful Marriage
“Now the Lord God said, ‘It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, completing) for him.’.. And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man, He built up and made into a woman and brought her to the man….Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:18, 22, 24 (Amplified Bible)
THE ORIGIN
After each thing that God created in and around the earth, God stepped back and saw that it was “good.” (Gen. 1:31) God was pleased and satisfied with what He had made including His creation of man. However, He noticed that there was something in His perfect garden that was not good. It was man being alone; he needed a companion. God brought the animals to Adam who named them all, but none was a suitable companion.
Let’s also remember that even though Adam had a perfect relationship with God, that still was not enough. Maybe the need for companionship is a result of being made in the image of God and having been made alive by the breath of His Spirit. God had companionship within Himself asrevealed in the use of the words “us” and “our” as He contemplated the creation of man. (Gen. 1:26) Even in this Genesis account, we see the Father who decrees, the Word who creates and the Spirit who gives life.
God made all the animals male and female. Why did He initially make man alone? I believe it was always in the heart of God to give Adam a companion similar to himself. Consider the possibility that He wanted Adam to experience the sense of need so he could appreciate the provision to meet the need. Didn’t God know that those animals would be insufficient to meet Adam’s need for companionship? After all, He had made Adam.
The creation of Adam’s suitable helper was not an afterthought. It was a gift of God given at a time when it could be appreciated. When God presented Adam the companion made from his own rib, Adam was thrilled. He named her and embraced her as his own. He would care for her as he cared for himself for she was from him. He would love and cherish her, and she would honor and respect him.
THE PRESENT
It is still in the plan of God for the husband to love, cherish and nurture his wife. (Ephesians 5:25-31;1 Peter 3:7) A woman is wired to desire this and respond to it. Conversely, it is the plan of God that the wife express her love by revering, honoring,respecting and submitting to the leadership of her husband (Eph. 5:22,23; 1Peter 3:1-6; Titus 2:3-8). A man is wired to desire and respond to these attributes.
Thus we see how a husband and wife can be the perfect fit or they can give each other a “fit.” It all depends upon their understanding and being secure in who they are and what their roles are in the relationship. It is learning what sends a love message to the other person and adjusting oneself to do that. It requires partners to put their spouse’s needs over their own. It prompts the question, “What can I do for you?” rather than “What have you done for me lately?” It asks, “What can I give?” rather than “What can I get?”
The Divine goal is unity/oneness (Gen. 2:24; Eph. 5:31), but this does not come without a price. The price is a denial of self and a willingness to change and adapt. Marriage is designed for true intimacy, an intimacy that goes beyond the physical. It is to know and to be known. It is to accept and to be accepted. It is to care and to be cared for. It is to love and to be loved. It is a reciprocal relationship.
However, God already had a plan to restore both.
THE PLAN
Just as Adam was a type or a foreshadowing of the perfect God-man to come (Jesus Christ), so the marriage relationship was a foreshadowing of the perfect marriage to come (Jesus and the Church – the body of believers ). Just as Jesus’ death and resurrection overturned the negative effects of sin in our relationship with God, so it has overturned the negative effects of our relationships with our spouses.
Just as we must submit to God to access the benefits of salvation, husbands and wives must submit to one another as joint heirs with Christ to experience what God intended in marriage. (Eph.5:21) This works in concert with the Divine order of the husband being the head of the wife, making marriage a beautiful experience.
THE POWER
Faith in Christ makes it possible for us to live in harmony with those in our home and believers outside our home. It requires us to die to self and allow Christ to live His life through us (Gal. 2:20). It is interesting that Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 5 to wives and husbands followed the admonition to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
The pursuit of Christ-likeness is not just for the job, church, and community. It is first to be pursued at home with our spouse and our children. This keeps us authentic-- because who we are at home is who we are. Our part is to yield to Christ. His part is to fill us with His Holy Spirit. It is through Him that we can regain the intimacy in marriage that God intended.
THE PRAYER
“Lord Jesus, thank you for paying the price for my sin. Thank you for making it possible for me to have a fulfilling relationship with my husband. I confess my own fear, stubbornness and pride. Thank you for forgiving me. I submit to You. I put my faith and trust in You. I ask You to fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Help me to love and respect my husband. Help me to honor You in my relationship with him and help him to rightly represent You in his relationship with me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”
*photo: Jeff and Carrie Neely*
Copyright © 2008-2015 Shermaine Jones
Reader Comments...
| 2009-07-06 10:15:33 "Awesome! Another amazing article from Shermaine Jones, my sister and my friend. Keep up the great work! I am loving every minute of reading it and feeling more convinced today that my marriage was truly planned by and sent from God." - Regina |
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