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A Little Lady's Heart
Growing up, I was quite the Tom Boy. I had to be. My older brother and sister were roughnecks. They played football, climbed trees and never shed a tear with the bruises, bumps and scratches that accompanied daily play. Me? I started off somewhat a princess. I remember enjoying dress-up at my grandmother's . . . putting on her Russian Squirrel fur cape and talking like I was a "riche, foncy, ladie" (Speak those last three words with your best French accent). I also remember crying when I'd fall down or asking for another band-aid for my boo-boos. But, somewhere along the way, I toughened up, and that is okay, of course, but what's not okay is that I started to believe that anything less than tough was weak. Shed tears and band-aids were put away into the closet along with my tea set, dress-up clothes and high heel shoes. Yes, many of life's circumstances molded my heart into believing that there was no room for tea parties anymore . . . that is until God melted my heart.
My oldest daughter Samantha is a little princess to the core. On her own, she started carrying around pocketbooks (which she inherited from her cousins because I don't have any). Samantha also began to put on my dress shoes, her sun hats, and the family's winter scarves and walk around the kitchen all dolled up. At first I thought, "How could this be? I've never dressed her up frilly or foofy. What is this?" But, down deep, she's a princess and she doesn't mind letting the world know it. Now, since I believe it's important to watch a child grow, and nurture what seems to be a part of his/her little spirit, I have spent the last two years of Samantha's life just observing. The results are as follows: Samantha loves Pink! The "pinker" the better! She not only loves dressing herself up, but also dressing up her little seven-month-old sister. Samantha blows kisses and has a Miss America Wave (I STILL don't know where she learned that one). It just amazes me! Samantha is such a girl.
So I asked the Lord, "Lord, where in the world did she come from? This is not my daughter." And then the Lord gently spoke . . . through a pocketbook of all things.
I was picking up the house when I found one of Samantha's little inherited purses on the floor. I felt that it was heavy, which peaked my curiosity as to what she had placed in there. When I zipped open the little black purse with silver hearts, my heart stopped as I saw Samantha's precious items so neatly placed inside.
- her handheld phone (that really makes noise)
- a makeup brush
- a tissue
- her binky
I almost cried when the Lord began to speak. "Oh Cindy, don’t you see? Your daughter is just how I created the female heart to be. You are the one who has changed. Samantha is just like you—at least who you are WAY down deep inside—the places you don't like to reveal. The telephone shows that she's a communicator—just like you. The makeup brush shows that she wants to be beautiful, just like you want to be. The tissue is for those surprises in life . . . tears of joy, of sadness, maybe a little sneeze, but no matter what, you want to be prepared. And lastly, the binky shows the security that every young lady desires. The contents of your daughter's purse are in fact a reflection of your heart. Cindy, it is okay to be tough and independent, but don't forget that My design is for you to maintain that special, tender heart. And definitely make sure to nurture those characteristics in your little girl. She is more like her mother than you think." 
Well, as you can imagine, my eyes were flooded with tears. And at that moment, I remembered so many things about myself as a child. Wanting to be Wonder Woman (and it wasn't just the cool lasso that I wanted—I had hoped to grow up and look like Linda Carter (Oh, well), playing with Barbie, and my first little makeup kit (it was an oval the size of a small tackle box and it had a hot pink cover with a plethora of eye shadows, lip colors, and cheek colors inside). Yes, the Lord reminded me of my sweet and innocent little girl moments, and better than that, He reminded me that it is more than okay to still be "a girl." After all, that is who He made me to be.
If there are any of you who may struggle with the whole "acting like a girl" thing, let me just remind you that the Lord has called us to be "in the world not of it." It is the world that has given being a girl/woman a negative connotation. "Don't act like a girl," "Don't cry like a girl," "Stop being so sensitive." Well, let me just tell you something . . . my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is the toughest guy in town . . . enduring the cross, enduring our sins . . . not to mention He still has to deal with our daily shenanigans. I would've given up on me a long time ago. Yet, Scripture says, Jesus wept. He didn't just shed a tear. 
He wept, and why? Because a tender heart is, in fact, God's heart. We were meant to feel. We were meant to be beautiful. We were meant to wear Pink (if that's the color you like—I've noticed as I'm getting older and having more children that BLACK is the color of choice.) So, I encourage you today to take some time with the Lord and ask Him if there's a hidden spot in your heart that needs to be healed by Him. Maybe there's something you have really wanted to do, but thought you shouldn't or couldn't. No matter where you are, just take a moment with God and thank Him for being a woman . . . He really didn't make a mistake.
Well, ladies, I'm off to have a tea party with my daughter. And then we're going to paint our toenails, fix our hair and maybe even dress up in a scarf or two. It's great to be free! It's fun to be a girl! There may be a few things I've missed along the way, so I plan on making them up as I raise my own girls. Cookie dough, a sweet movie, and hugs and kisses are a perfect way to end the evening. Thank you Lord for making me ME!
Copyright © 2008-2015 Cindy Aitken
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