In the Season of "I Can't"

In the Season of "I Can't"

By Rhema Peet

I am in the season of “I can’t.”

I have three small children who need so much from me. I must meet my two month-old baby’s every need around the clock. I’m sleep deprived, emotional and burned out. Through the fog of exhaustion an

d raging postpartum hormones, I feel as though I can’t do what I wish I could…and what I think I should.

I see the laundry piling up toward the ceiling and feel as though I can’t.

My kids want to have a picnic at the park and I feel as though I can’t.

My friends invite me to the gym and I feel as though I can’t.

Food is crusted on dirty dishes and might NEVER come off and I feel as though I can’t.

Other moms play with their kids and I feel as though I can’t.

My Bible lays open on the bed as I rub my tired eyes and I feel as though I can’t.

I watch my children closely, looking for signs of failure on my part. Are they happy? Responsive to authority? Do they look healthy? Have they gotten enough exercise?

I think of my friends. Do they understand that I am not avoiding them or their children, I am simply too tired to socialize like I used to?

As thoughts churn through my head in an endless cycle, I feel a gentle pull. It’s the Lord reminding me how simple the solution is.

“Give it to me,” He says.

But am I failing, Lord?

“Give it to me.”

But the other moms do it so well. I should be able to…

“Give it to me.”

I stop, tears rolling down. I rest in Him, almost feeling His arms cradling me. It’s only in this quiet moment alone with Him that my answer comes.

The revelation instantly hits me: I have been viewing things from a limited perspective. Whenever I compare myself to others, I am wrong. Whenever I look through exhausted lenses, my vantage point is skewed. The Lord wants me to come to Him in my weakness. He knows my limitations, and He knows exactly what is best for me each day.

Am I willing to put the laundry on hold in order to take the kids to the park? Can the family eat leftovers two nights in a row so I can get groceries by myself on Saturday? Will I allow the kids to make messes in their rooms so that I can spend time with the Lord?

It is only when I refuse to relinquish control that I suffer with “I can’ts.” Giving up my control may result in things looking differently than I think they should. The house won’t always be perfectly clean. Others may realize that I don’t “have it all together!” Tasks might take longer to accomplish than usual, but when I let the Lord take hold of my day, I begin to realize how sufficient His grace is. This grace is not just for my kids, but also for me!

And then I realize that it is in Him…that I can.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” I Cor. 12:9 (NIV)

“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)